Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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