ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Randomize