3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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