im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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