its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
