his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
