I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
