sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
