"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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