the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
