And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
