i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
