I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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