I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
