just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
