We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We need to get me chipped asap
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
