YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Someone signed my nipple.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
