Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
