Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
