Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I look better un-naked...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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