Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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