I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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