do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize