awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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