from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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