i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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