dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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