I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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