Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
