some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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