I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
