Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Be still, my beating vagina.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
