remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
