Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
