I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
