The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
