Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It was confusing and full of hummus
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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