i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize