what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
