Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
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