I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
