Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
