tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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