Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
