Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
