so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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