im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
