I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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