Is it normal to miss your booty call?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
