More tranny stories later!
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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