but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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