I heard we made out
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
