We're facebook friends in real life
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Mom said you looked used
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize