around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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