just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
