I just made out with a guy for $7.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
