I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
