guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
