In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
