They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
