just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize