he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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