Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she told me i tasted like america
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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