i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
