I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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