We're like a lot better than the average bears
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
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