i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
