matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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