Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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