he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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