My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
