Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize