Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
