The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I look better un-naked...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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