Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
