I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
