Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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