none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
