A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
